you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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