wat bout pragnant strippers??
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Girls should come with a carfax report
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Randomize
