God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
