I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
