Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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