I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
