Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
