Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
