hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
