What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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