his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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