I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
