Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
