Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
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