is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
