Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
