my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
