I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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