Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
