Don't you send me to vm
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
