woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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