He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
