why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
