I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
