her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
