At least make sure they are 18
Why
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
