chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
