Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
