I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
