So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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