He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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