I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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