but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
