I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I have surprise drugs for everyone
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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