So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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