the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Maybe he injected his testicle?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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