and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
she smelled like a LAN party
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
A bitchslap is in order.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
