Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
