wrigley field is MILF paradise
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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