we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
