Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
