woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
