You can't special order awesome
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
