I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
