I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
