he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize