I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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