1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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