Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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