Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
