I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
too bad you live with your parents still
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
