Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
