2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
