once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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