haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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