"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
