I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Randomize
