I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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