All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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