lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Princesses don't give blow jobs
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
