Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
