ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize