btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
