so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
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