Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
