...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize