So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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