so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
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